Monday, February 27, 2006

Some notes for all University Shakespeare productions

294. I will never instruct Romeo and Juliet to "die faster, people didn't come here to see you two die."

313. I will not use a basketball in a sack for Macbeth's severed head. If I absolutely must do so, I will let out enough air from the ruddy ball so that it does not bounce when it hits the stage, and I will anoint the stupid sack with stage blood to make it look a little more convincing.

320. Make sure the actor cast as Juliet can actually pronounce the letter R correctly. Please, for the love of God.

321. Any actors should be forbidden from calling anyone "Dude". This also applies to minor characters.

326. I will not costume Henry V in Star Trek uniforms.

Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.

Monday, February 20, 2006

What to do, What to do...

Alright, a little help here people.

The Backstory...
The Wife and I met while we were working in a Restaurant together. I was the Chef and she was the Barista. A match made in heaven. It was a pretty good place to work and we made alot of friends there. Unfortunately we don't keep in contact with most of them as much as we should. We do however keep all the names and numbers in our mobile phone just incase. One of the perks of modern life.

The Current Situation...
The Wife looked at her phone last week and noticed she had a missed call and message from one of our better friends from the restaurant. We hadn't heard from her in about 7 to 8 months and the message was to say hi and to return her call. The Wife thought she must be calling for a catch up and returned the call.

In fact the call wasn't to catch up. The call was to see if she and her boyfriend could come around and pitch their business idea to us later this week. There wasn't even a "Hi, how ya doing?". Having said that, we aren't even actually sure what the whole thing is about. The Wife was so stunned during the conversation (and being the incredibly nice person that she is) she agreed.

Anyway, I'm pretty pissed off about it. Not only do I have to miss the new episodes of the Simpsons and Futurama to listen to some lame pitch from a dick straight from Universtiy who I've never even met in some retarded attempt to goad us into joining some dodgy pyramid scheme so obvious they won't even report about it on a Current Affair, I have to actually pretend to be nice. I think it's pretty fucked to ring someone up and pretending to want to catch up with them but have another reason up the sleeve.

The Solution...
So what should I do? Help me out here people.

How should we respond to the proposal?
Listen politely and then give them all our money.
Listen politely but decline stating the reasons for the declination.
Listen politely and then shoot holes through his entire presentation, pointing out obvious flaws and making him feel very small and worthless.
Listen politely then politely inform him to FUCK OFF!
Politely request that the girlfriend remove The Wifes number from her phone...and the FUCK OFF!
Politely describe to them how the way they have gone about this violates the laws and friendship.
Turn off all the lights and hide under the coffee table.
Free polls from

Friday, February 17, 2006


Kenya Cricket: IHSAN Sports To Sponsor Kenyan Cricket. Kenya has a Kenyan Scoop!!1 OMG WFT!1!

Sunday, February 12, 2006


The Kegerator is finally up and running. It actually has been up and running for about a month, and I've already polished a keg off, but I've been lazy to get off my fat arse and post all the pictures. Anyway here she is!

The first beer through was the Inagural Pour Amber Ale. It's a James Squire Amber Ale clone and was pretty damn close. I did a side by side tasting, and the Inagural Pour was a slightly maltier flavour and a bit too thick in the mouth. Not a bad first amber ale though. The maltiness was reflected in the low IBU (21 - BJCP Amber Ales are 25 to 40+).

Back to the kegerator. As the fridge was only a small bar fridge, I didn't want to put the tap through the door, so I built a mini bar that could slip over the top of the fridge. I built a simple frame for the top of the fridge, and attached floorboard to the top of the frame to make the "bar". The tap was attached to a removable post (in case I want to add another tap later on), that the beer line from the fridge could run up the back of.

This is the frame set up on top of the fridge prior to fixing it all together.


The frame was screwed together and set with glue. I really need to get some wood clamps though. This was tough to keep square without them.


Setting all the boards onto the frame. The boards are then surrounded by another "frame" that allowed the whole piece to lock in to the top of the fridge.


The tap post was built by framing a pine plank with the some wood as the floorboards. This wasn't my original plan, but it was the way it had to be done.


The hole for the tap and the sunken bolts for attaching the tap post to the bar. The tap post was attached simply by screwing nuts onto the bolts. These are both well hidden behind the post.




The finished and sanded bar and tap post prior to staining.




The whole setup was stained with a Jarrah stain. No particular reason. I had some left over from when the Wife and I did out bedside tables and tall boy and I was trying to keep costs down. Looks alright though. As the whole setup was going to be outside, I put a couple of coats of a UV and water protector on before the final laquer coat. These pics are just before the final laquering.



And Finally the finished setup! Hurrah!


All the photos are here.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

I'm currently starting to get all the gear together for my first all-grain brew. I'm posting this as a collection of links that I'm going to use to help me get through the first one (and second through eighth one).

Pauls All Grain Brewing Guide
Jayse Skunk Fart Ale
John Palmer's - How to Brew
Illustrated Guide Number 2

I'll add more as I find them.

Great Scott!

I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain yet, but if it's anything like Brokeback to the Future it should be GREAT!

(via Jess)

Monday, February 06, 2006

Brew Number 9: Peacock American Pale Ale

Christ! Two in a row.

Another CWB Wetpack, I was planning to take away on summer holidays, but got lazy and didn't have time. According to the country brewer this is meant to be a Little Creatures Pale Ale clone, but I found it a bit too heavy. Still a pretty good extract beer though. I'm currently building a mash tun and plan on moving to all grain brews pretty soon.

Peacock APA Recipie (Guesswork)
Peacock APA Actuals

(again, both of the above are PDFs)

Pictures to follow.

Brew Number 8: Weminuche Summer Ale

Have finally decided to get around to posting about my latest brews. Weminuche Summer Ale was made from a CWB Summer Wheat Wetpack, so the ingredients are more guesswork than anyting else. Not a bad drop for summer actually. I'll post pictures soon (promise).

Estimated Recipe
Brew Actuals

(both of the above are PDF's)